If you are having suicidal thoughts then please know that you are not your thoughts. 

Someone once told me this metaphor and it really helped. Think of yourself as water. Water is pure like you. The negative thoughts that you are having are dirt that has got into the water. Despite the water being dirty the water can be filtered and purified again. I have spoken to many people who have had these thoughts and with some work have managed to break through and are living happy lives again.

I am going to briefly share some of the things that help me on a daily basis, advice that I have heard and information that I have found during research. 

1. Avoid Isolation: It is good to spend time with people that make you feel better. I have found great solace in going to yoga and meditation. Going to a meditation has completely changed my direction and given me some clarity. It helps you to experience that you are not your thoughts and to get some distance from them. Naturally when you do this they become quieter and less powerful. The ability to be in the present moment is also helpful because depression occurs when we spend too much time living in the past and anxiety occurs when we spend too much time living in the future.

2. Happy place: I ensure that I have my go to place for cheering me up. Everywhere is go I make videos full of my best memories. Whenever I get down I watch them and it reminds me that life has been good and that it can be good again.

3. Distraction: Something that I have heard recommended is making a “distraction box” – fill it with things that provide comfort, remind you of the good things in your life, and help lift your mood. You can include anything meaningful and helpful to you, e.g. a book, photos, letters, poems, music, notes to yourself, a toy, perfume, jokes etc. 

4. Practice self-care: As I get older, and the more time I spend time sober, I realise how sensitive I am to getting enough sleep, rest, exercise, and having a good diet. If you are feeling worn to the bone and need rest then take some time off work and don’t feel guilty about it.  I find any less than 7 hours sleep I start noticing big differences in my mood. Everyone is different so we need to pay attention to how we are feeling and how this is effecting our state of mind and emotions. The less sleep we get the more cortisol is released into our system. Think of cortisol as nature’s built-in alarm system. It’s your body’s main stress hormone. It works with certain parts of your brain to control your mood, motivation, and fear.

5. Avoid Intoxication: Alcohol and prescription drugs are a dangerous game if you are feeling low because they have a habit of making thoughts a reality. Substance abuse can exacerbate existing mental health conditions or trigger new ones. It impairs judgment and decision-making, leading to impulsive behaviours that may include self-harm or suicide attempts. Drugs and alcohol can alter brain chemistry, making individuals more vulnerable to suicidal thoughts and actions.

The rate of suicide amongst my group of friend in the UK is way above average and I noticed that the factor linking many of these tragedies is drugs. They are not always the cause but they are mood enhancers so if you are either going to have the best or worst time of your life. As someone who has been trapped in a position, seemingly of no choice, but to use drugs I know how difficult it can be especially as it can seem like they are your only comfort. In the short term they can be helpful but if you are in a desperate and dangerous place then it is essential that you change your situation one way or another. There is always two options in life. The path to the dark and the path to the light. Using drugs every day will not lead you to the light. 

6. Limit access to means: If you have access to items that could be used for self-harm, such as medications or weapons, consider removing them from your environment or asking someone else to keep them safe.

7. Reach out for help: As I have mentioned before talking about your problems with someone you trust is one of the most cathartic feelings and it can instantly relieve some of that built up discomfort. I know that I can feel like it’s a really difficult thing to do and it can feel shameful but it shows great courage and you will be surprised how people can respond to your honesty in a positive way. If you can’t talk to someone you know then there are a lot of helplines with some really nice people to talk to. 

A common reason for feeling overwhelmed is the build up of many small things which creates one big problem. Ask a friend for some help because with a fresh set of eyes may be able to see a simple solution and if they are a friend they will more than likely be pleased to help you. 

8. Challenge negative thoughts: Try to identify and challenge negative thought patterns that contribute to your suicidal feelings. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques can be helpful for this. This is best practiced with a professional counsellor of psychotherapist. CBT understands that our emotions are connected to the way we think. If negative or misaligned thought patterns are challenged suicidal thoughts can be reduced or even eradicated.

10. Create a safety plan: Work with a mental health professional to create a safety plan that outlines steps you can take when you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, as well as emergency contacts and resources you can turn to for support. This plan may also identify warning signs and identify triggers so that you can keep yourself safe.

9. Look for inspiration: There is an unlimited amount of videos on internet of people who have been in a similar situation to you and have found their way out of the darkness and are sharing how they did it. Watching these can be very inspirational. 

10. Making a plan and implementing some structure into your life can be very helpful. Try to make a plan with some small and achievable goals for the week and you can build on this.

Just remember to start small and not ask too much of yourself. 

Bonus. Making signs: One thing that I have had to do is make signs with helpful affirmations on to keep myself motivated. Looking around my room now I can see three hand written signs that I wrote reading: “no ones gonna do it gotta do it for yourself”, “the only way out is through” and “I believe in you”. This might seem cheesy or silly but you have no idea how many times I have been stressed out or depressed lying on my bed and I’ve looked up and seen the sign saying I believe in you. It has helped me to have more faith in myself. When I first wrote that sign it was as a message to myself but over time I had a sense that my higher power was watching over me and guiding me as a best friend. There are no words to describe how much this helped me.

Just as your suicidal thoughts took time to appear, it will take a while for them to fade. Live from day to day and don't expect too much of yourself. Even if you can't see a way forward now, you can be certain that the way you are thinking and feeling about things will change.

Be kind to yourself always

Strength and love